The Ledbury Distorter

Passport Photo

My passport is through.

I look like im from poland on the photo. I didnt even know you could look polish until my passport came through. I have a shaved head and look like a criminal.

That isnt racist by the way. Im not saying all polish people look like criminals, not at all. You can look like two things at the same time you know. Its the same as when you can look, say,  chinese, and at the same time look like a businessman.

So I look polish, AND look like a criminal. The good news is, I should get a free council house, free health care and all my bills paid for me. (that might be racist, Im not entirely sure. I wrote that joke for the Daily Mail, but even they found it "risque". Im going to send it back to them with the word "muslim" replacing polish. They'll soon send a check out.)

Speaking of checks, I'll soon be living among them in the Czech Republic (genius...)

Im going through a long application process with a top English School  at the moment. Tomorrow Ive got to record myself giving an English lesson about all the different animals there are, to some imaginary 10 year olds, while sat in my front room.

As you do.