The Ledbury Distorter

Microwave Meals

As the credit crunch hit, many UK companies that we knew and love went bust. Woolworths. Gone. Clinton cards. Gone. La Senza - although not a shop Ive ever shopped in, but did enjoy the window displays, admittedly - Gone. 

It was all a bit depressing.

But let's look at the bright side. There are certain group of companies that are thriving, and showing record profits. Like the ones who make microwave meals for example.

Now we all know the kind of people who eat these things. Sad, lonely, pathetic people. People who, If I drew a chart, would show a strong correlation between the sort of people that buy microwave meals, and the type of people who are likely to kill either themselves, their wives, or any number of the local prostitutes.

My freezer is full of them. (Microwave meals, not prostitutes)

Its not that I cant be bothered to cook. No. its more like my self esteem is so low that i feel i simply dont deserve tender loin or fresh brocolli. I am not worthy of fresh food. You are what you eat, they say, so I eat a grey, dismal mush that signifies my life of grey, dismal mush.

Another surprising industry that is showing record profits is the "adult" market. It seems while the economy crumbles around us, we're all at home crying into our ready meals and wanking. 

The credit crunch hasnt really affected me at all.