The Ledbury Distorter

Cookies

Browsing facebook today, I noticed that they show adverts on the side of the screen. Fair enough, I thought. But then I read it. "looking for a mattress? Click here!"

The thing is, I was looking for a mattress. About two weeks ago. So how did they know? I realised of course - Cookies.

But now it's got me worried.

About three weeks ago, my mate was looking to rent a van. So I searched online for a van. Also, around the same time, I was looking for a new mattress. Fine so far. But here's the rub: I also bought some duct tape to fix something until I can get a new one. And not only that, but about a week ago, I also looked online for a spade as my garden needed doing.

"So what's wrong with that?" I dont hear you ask, but assume you want to know anyway.

Well, think about it. What if, right now, someone went missing on my street? They check everywhere else, and finally get to me. They look at my computer, and see Ive recently been looking at hiring a van, buying a mattress, duct tape, and a spade.

This, along with my recent kindle purchases about serial killers, would surely raise alarmbells. My quite innocent explanations would fall on deaf ears, a Jury would find me guilty, and I'd become the plaything of "Big Dave" in C wing.

Theyd also see that I had clicked on a "gardening tool cleaning" website. Proof, they'd say, that Id clicked onto the website to have the spade cleaned professionaly to hide any DNA evidence - and not from the genuine expanation of my late night googling of "dirty hoes"