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I let myself go in the middle
I put some stuff on top of my head
When the a/c was filled with lint
And the fan was ripping off
Whatever posters I had left
Because the room became just a tiny bit smaller
Once they boycotted an understanding
A desire to be content
Within the limits of oneself
I let myself go in the middle
Three weeks without a home
Making phone calls to anyone but us
Atop of a needing pin destroying our patience
Seldom a death sentence
But a burden nonetheless
I let myself go in the middle
Among happiness and truth
And misery and exhaustion
Breaking promises made
Out of calories
And drinks
And almonds
And dinners with our friends
Objecting to our bodies
In a thousand different languages
Yelling in beautiful agony
"Look at the mirror now -
give it another try"
To vicarious pragmatism
The elemental sweating of ideas
And whatever is left in the pantry
For anyone to indulge
In the comfort of many different reasons
For rejecting any ambition
Puked and spat over the beauty
Of the sheets you slept in
To never falling asleep after a long day
And the things you want to do
You'll never do them
You might do them
You'll never do them
To feeling amazing over the prejudice
Against our useless bodies
Going steady until it crashes
Crying and begging for the last time
You thought everything was alright.
I let myself go in the middle
Wishing I wasn't dead
I let myself go in the middle
And it's making me upset.
The elemental sweating of ideas
And whatever is left in the pantry
For anyone to indulge
In the comfort of many different reasons
For rejecting any ambition
Puked and spat over the beauty
Of the sheets you slept in
To never falling asleep after a long day
And the things you want to do
You'll never do them
You might do them
You'll never do them
To feeling amazing over the prejudice
Against our useless bodies
Going steady until it crashes
Crying and begging for the last time
You thought everything was alright.
I let myself go in the middle
Wishing I wasn't dead
I let myself go in the middle
And it's making me upset.
-R.G Magellan