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SCRUDS
by R.g magellan
Links:
Mark Garza:
You can check out her life's work, funeral sounds, at funeralsounds.com
Anna Serafini:
You can buy her book, Let the Righ One In, at lulu.com
You can listen read her poetry at gemhands.tumblr.com
Dianna Sanchez:
You can message her and check out her out at facebook.com/littlemachinedesigns
Claudia Morales Gomez:
You can check out her photography at cmoralesgomez.com
Maeve Holler:
You can check out her prose and poetry at empty-holler.tumblr.com
Dakota Fahney:
You can listen to Unraveler at unravelerpgh.bandcamp.com
Jordaan Mason:
You can listen to their music at jordaanmason.bandcamp.com
Benjamin Davis:
Ben doesn't have a portafolio. You can find him on Facebook and say hello or you can check out some of the pictures he takes for the band Pope at popemusic.tumblr.com
Gabrielle Steib:
Gabby has all of her photos on Facebook. Hit her up and say hi!
You can check out some of her art at etherealism1.blogspot.com/
R.G Magellan:
Ruy did this zine even though they had never done one before. They loved it! You can check out their music at girlfriendisland.bandcamp.com, yuppieteeth.bandcamp.com, and soundcloud.com/roosteroo
You can check out her life's work, funeral sounds, at funeralsounds.com
Anna Serafini:
You can buy her book, Let the Righ One In, at lulu.com
You can listen read her poetry at gemhands.tumblr.com
Dianna Sanchez:
You can message her and check out her out at facebook.com/littlemachinedesigns
Claudia Morales Gomez:
You can check out her photography at cmoralesgomez.com
Maeve Holler:
You can check out her prose and poetry at empty-holler.tumblr.com
Dakota Fahney:
You can listen to Unraveler at unravelerpgh.bandcamp.com
Jordaan Mason:
You can listen to their music at jordaanmason.bandcamp.com
Benjamin Davis:
Ben doesn't have a portafolio. You can find him on Facebook and say hello or you can check out some of the pictures he takes for the band Pope at popemusic.tumblr.com
Gabrielle Steib:
Gabby has all of her photos on Facebook. Hit her up and say hi!
You can check out some of her art at etherealism1.blogspot.com/
R.G Magellan:
Ruy did this zine even though they had never done one before. They loved it! You can check out their music at girlfriendisland.bandcamp.com, yuppieteeth.bandcamp.com, and soundcloud.com/roosteroo
"Body Fluid" - Dianna Sanchez
Then began the wait. A long-standing examination of their ridiculously low patience. Gladly, their phone was still boasting a 25% full battery, so maybe it's not all bad.
But, damnit, the text messages; why would they even want to look at whatever others had to say is beyond understanding, but they had to read them. They can't just play fool and pretend the lie is still on. Might as well.
“Are you okay?” - one read
“I love you so much” - read the other one
“You gave me your ID last night can I drop it off?” - third one said
It was fairly mundane, but they were still in shock. Because to come out as oneself like that or to assume the identity they always dreamed of comes with some initial weight. Their girlfriend hadn't even said anything yet. That isn't the worry, but it's there. But at least, to come to terms within their very own emotions. To feel detached from the humble lust that constitutes one nature for too long and finally scream “NO”. To finally be free and let their nature run its course. Everything and nothing about it was just beautiful. Excruciatingly beautiful.
“Here's your sandwich”
"Thank you"
"Just go pay at the counter"
"Thank you"
Walking back they saw whatever their reflection had in mind. Countless possibilities for the future. The joy of realizing there's nothing wrong with who they are, just with what they do. And, of course, to handle the perseverance to walk back to their home and think: “Hangovers are fucking shitty."
But, damnit, the text messages; why would they even want to look at whatever others had to say is beyond understanding, but they had to read them. They can't just play fool and pretend the lie is still on. Might as well.
“Are you okay?” - one read
“I love you so much” - read the other one
“You gave me your ID last night can I drop it off?” - third one said
It was fairly mundane, but they were still in shock. Because to come out as oneself like that or to assume the identity they always dreamed of comes with some initial weight. Their girlfriend hadn't even said anything yet. That isn't the worry, but it's there. But at least, to come to terms within their very own emotions. To feel detached from the humble lust that constitutes one nature for too long and finally scream “NO”. To finally be free and let their nature run its course. Everything and nothing about it was just beautiful. Excruciatingly beautiful.
“Here's your sandwich”
"Thank you"
"Just go pay at the counter"
"Thank you"
Walking back they saw whatever their reflection had in mind. Countless possibilities for the future. The joy of realizing there's nothing wrong with who they are, just with what they do. And, of course, to handle the perseverance to walk back to their home and think: “Hangovers are fucking shitty."
$4.75 Fried Catfish Po-boy
by R.G Magellan
by R.G Magellan
They had been drinking too much the night before. Too fucking much. They had sent whatever was on their mind to a chain reaction of peers, coworkers, family members, best friends, girlfriends, acquaintances, and miscellaneous companions. This was the only thing they could be possibly eager to experience. It's hard to come back from something like that. It's alright. But to assume nothing and everything is changing would be such a headache. Right now, they just wanted to eat the po-boy.
They walked the hellish 3 blocks from their house to the grocery store. In a 81 degree weather with 90% humidity this seemed less than a 3pm stroll and more like a test of endurance. And so they got to the counter and heard:
“What can I get you”?
“Fried catfish sandwich and some fries, please” - they said.
“15m. You want a drink?”
“I'll get myself something from the fridge” (con-t)
They walked the hellish 3 blocks from their house to the grocery store. In a 81 degree weather with 90% humidity this seemed less than a 3pm stroll and more like a test of endurance. And so they got to the counter and heard:
“What can I get you”?
“Fried catfish sandwich and some fries, please” - they said.
“15m. You want a drink?”
“I'll get myself something from the fridge” (con-t)
Drawing by Dianna Sanchez
(-cont)because you're mentally ill. And for people of color in my situation, it's even worse. The way those systems of discrimination intersect is just heartbreaking.
What's next for Unraveler? What's the plan for the future?
I have a busy summer coming up. I'm recording a full-band Unraveler album in early June and then in mid-June I'll be on tour playing second guitar in Adult Mom. Immediately afterward, in early July, I'm doing an Unraveler tour with my friend Jon The Archivist. Then right when I get back I'm going out with my friend David F Bello, who I'm releasing a split 7" with in mid-July. Then I'm taking August off in terms of Unraveler, and then in September I'll release an album and I'm hoping to tour for 3 months with my friends in Gottem.
What's your favorite food?
My favourite food is spaghetti.
Thank you, Dakota!
What's next for Unraveler? What's the plan for the future?
I have a busy summer coming up. I'm recording a full-band Unraveler album in early June and then in mid-June I'll be on tour playing second guitar in Adult Mom. Immediately afterward, in early July, I'm doing an Unraveler tour with my friend Jon The Archivist. Then right when I get back I'm going out with my friend David F Bello, who I'm releasing a split 7" with in mid-July. Then I'm taking August off in terms of Unraveler, and then in September I'll release an album and I'm hoping to tour for 3 months with my friends in Gottem.
What's your favorite food?
My favourite food is spaghetti.
Thank you, Dakota!
Who are some of your biggest influences?
My biggest influences are mostly my contemporaries- musicians I play shows with, book shows for, see on a regular basis, etc. Bands like Hop Along, Mitski, Crying, Eskimeaux, The Island Of Misfit Toys, Told Slant, Brightside, One Hundred Year Ocean, Jordaan Mason, Run Forever, and lots more have had a huuuge impact on the way I write, perform, and navigate music/art. I've been so lucky to be surrounded by so many incredible artists.
What's the greatest moment you've experienced while touring? What's the greatest place you've played?
The best moment I've experienced on tour is probably any time someone comes up to me and tell me that they related to my music and that my set really affected them. Sometimes people cry while I play. It's weird that it happens, but it does mean a lot to me. A big part of why I do what I do is so that people going through similar things know that they're not alone and that they have support. It's always incredible to know that I'm doing something right. I know that's not a single moment but any time it happens, I can't really stress how good it is. It's also hard to pinpoint the greatest place I've played because everywhere I go has its ups and downs. Some shows are better than others, yes, but I can't really rank them. I could list great cities I've been to but it wouldn't be fair. I get something out of every show I play, even the really really terrible ones, and for me it's more about the overall experience of being able to tour and play music than any one particular show or town.
What made you get off your bed one day and into a touring van? Do you have any particularly life-changing touring experiences?
Existing as a trans musician has provided me with a mix of blessings and curses. Mostly curses, probably. I guess the worst is the sinking feeling in your heart when you've just spent your entire set singing about your experience as a trans woman, and then someone comes up to you afterwards and says "good set man" and calls you "he" and everything. It often feels like people haven't paid attention to a word you said. But often, they DID hear you, but they still don't bother trying to respect your (cont-)
My biggest influences are mostly my contemporaries- musicians I play shows with, book shows for, see on a regular basis, etc. Bands like Hop Along, Mitski, Crying, Eskimeaux, The Island Of Misfit Toys, Told Slant, Brightside, One Hundred Year Ocean, Jordaan Mason, Run Forever, and lots more have had a huuuge impact on the way I write, perform, and navigate music/art. I've been so lucky to be surrounded by so many incredible artists.
What's the greatest moment you've experienced while touring? What's the greatest place you've played?
The best moment I've experienced on tour is probably any time someone comes up to me and tell me that they related to my music and that my set really affected them. Sometimes people cry while I play. It's weird that it happens, but it does mean a lot to me. A big part of why I do what I do is so that people going through similar things know that they're not alone and that they have support. It's always incredible to know that I'm doing something right. I know that's not a single moment but any time it happens, I can't really stress how good it is. It's also hard to pinpoint the greatest place I've played because everywhere I go has its ups and downs. Some shows are better than others, yes, but I can't really rank them. I could list great cities I've been to but it wouldn't be fair. I get something out of every show I play, even the really really terrible ones, and for me it's more about the overall experience of being able to tour and play music than any one particular show or town.
What made you get off your bed one day and into a touring van? Do you have any particularly life-changing touring experiences?
Existing as a trans musician has provided me with a mix of blessings and curses. Mostly curses, probably. I guess the worst is the sinking feeling in your heart when you've just spent your entire set singing about your experience as a trans woman, and then someone comes up to you afterwards and says "good set man" and calls you "he" and everything. It often feels like people haven't paid attention to a word you said. But often, they DID hear you, but they still don't bother trying to respect your (cont-)
There's not really much you can do on tour between shows. You spend countless hours in a car, trying to pass the time, getting more in touch with the things that bother you about youself: your inability to fall asleep when desired, your dependance on shit food because money, the fact that gas is $3 a gallon and there's nothing you can do about it, etc. But people like Dakota Fahney don't let this bother them. She will gladly put on her best beanie and sail away on a dirty van with nothing but her guitar and a facebook account in order to get her voice heard. And you know what? She loves it.
Dakota's alter-ego Unraveler has been doing fairly well lately. She just finished a nationwide tour and is on the process of releasing a split ''7 with her longtime hero, David Bello from The World Is a Beautiful Place and I am No Longer Afraid To Die.
I spoke with Dakota about touring, her being a transgirl travelling through different cities, and her life in general.
Dakota's alter-ego Unraveler has been doing fairly well lately. She just finished a nationwide tour and is on the process of releasing a split ''7 with her longtime hero, David Bello from The World Is a Beautiful Place and I am No Longer Afraid To Die.
I spoke with Dakota about touring, her being a transgirl travelling through different cities, and her life in general.
As a transgender musician, how was your experience visiting New Orleans and the south in general? The south isn't really known for being a haven for acceptance and reason.
I think the attitudes in the south are definitely not quite as progressive toward trans or gay rights, but I did meet quite a few great people there. I actually loved my time in New Orleans. I have a few friends down there and all the new people I met seemed really nice. There's a good niche of progressive people in the DIY scene there.
There's a very clear correlation between mental illness and transgender individuals. Modern psychology attempts to address the fact that this isn't because there's anything wrong with trans people, but rather a byproduct of them being stigmatized for so long. Similar patterns are present among gay and bisexual people as well. As a transgender musician, do you feel Unraveler serves as a bridge for you to communicate certain feelings of alienation?
Unraveler is my main vehicle for expressing feelings of alienation, dissociation, unease, and dysphoria. I've communicated this sort of thing through some of my writing and other musical projects, but Unraveler for the most part has been the easiest way for me to get it out there in a simple, effective way. It's where I can be the most honest, I feel-- honest with myself and people listening
I think the attitudes in the south are definitely not quite as progressive toward trans or gay rights, but I did meet quite a few great people there. I actually loved my time in New Orleans. I have a few friends down there and all the new people I met seemed really nice. There's a good niche of progressive people in the DIY scene there.
There's a very clear correlation between mental illness and transgender individuals. Modern psychology attempts to address the fact that this isn't because there's anything wrong with trans people, but rather a byproduct of them being stigmatized for so long. Similar patterns are present among gay and bisexual people as well. As a transgender musician, do you feel Unraveler serves as a bridge for you to communicate certain feelings of alienation?
Unraveler is my main vehicle for expressing feelings of alienation, dissociation, unease, and dysphoria. I've communicated this sort of thing through some of my writing and other musical projects, but Unraveler for the most part has been the easiest way for me to get it out there in a simple, effective way. It's where I can be the most honest, I feel-- honest with myself and people listening
UNRAVELER: MESSY VANS AND HIGH AMBITIONS
From left to right: Dan Brown aka Oklahoma Car Crash and Dakota Fahney in Pittsburgh. Photo by Dakota Fahney.
"I believe that education and finding your spirit quest are the keys to survival for transgender people of color."
Toni D. Newman
Photo by Gabrielle Steib
Who It Is: Pile – You’re Better Than This; Exploding In Sound (2015)
But much like fellow Exploding in Sounders Big Ups, Pile has the capability of turning this sort of matchmaking succession into a statement of utter consistency and, ultimately, perfectly-timed individuality. While songs like “Mr. Fish” and “Hot Breath” would make good additions to Dripping’s tracklist, they set the tone for a place Pile never really thought of encountering any time soon. Change and time are the most prominent themes on You’re Better, and just like My Bloody Valentine’s mbv carried on a legacy of experimentation and preceded reputations, Pile has resurrected a desire to pick up where they left while welcoming – rather hesitantly – whatever is there to offer for aging rock and rollers.
Review:
There’s something about the modern state of post-hardcore that seems less frantic and more predictable; much like the rise and fall of 90’s emo c. 2008 – 2015, the genre has become an exhausting mess among college towns and middle-class suburbs. It has been relegated from a relatively low-key expression of apathy and realistic desire before and in between the grunge prime to your friends’ band, reluctantly put on the bill because the venue needed another local and the good ones where out of town. It doesn’t inherently suck, but it takes a lot to stand out these days.
There’s something about the modern state of post-hardcore that seems less frantic and more predictable; much like the rise and fall of 90’s emo c. 2008 – 2015, the genre has become an exhausting mess among college towns and middle-class suburbs. It has been relegated from a relatively low-key expression of apathy and realistic desire before and in between the grunge prime to your friends’ band, reluctantly put on the bill because the venue needed another local and the good ones where out of town. It doesn’t inherently suck, but it takes a lot to stand out these days.
What It Sounds Like: Unwound, Chavez, Polvo, Survival Knife, Jawbox, Porches feat. Big Muff.
2012’s Dripping channeled the efforts of outfits such as Unwound and Polvo albeit being emotionally closer to a good Joan of Arc song than anything else. That being said, it is important to notice that this year’s You’re Better Than This remains a carbon copy mirroring the purposes of their 3 year-old predecessor.
So when a band like Pile rises from the depths of the filthiest mine ever seen, it is elemental to understand that, yes, you’ve found a diamond, but it isn’t far shinier than the one found before; over their decade-long career, Pile has achieved such a loyal following among the ever-changing state of the DIY scene by delivering abrasive qualities within their own accessibility.
To rate Pile’s evolution over these last three years is to sinfully ignore the kind of band they are in the first place. There’s nothing like it, and they merely deserve the universal understanding that they have cleverly crafted a genuinely incredible record without needing to rewrite music history. That’s the most gorgeously intense characteristic that makes Pile stand out among a sea of DIY contemporaries; You’re Better Than This isn’t going to start a trend and the Pile definitely doesn’t want to do Graceland or Kid A, but it will definitely change the way the listener feels about everything and nothing at all. The record is just that good.
You Should Probably Listen To: All of them and please don’t skip oh Lord.
Rating: 8/10
R.G Magellan
As the title suggests, the decline of our civilization is imminent, but it goes beyond war, famine, racism, homophobia, sexism or any other Orwellian nightmare; to put yourself in Jordaan Mason’s shoes is to put yourself in the situation of every contemplation of suicide culminating in shame and self-hatred. Within the ridiculous amount of stimulation society offers nowadays, there’s a generation of kids dealing with a lack of stimuli and writing poetry on the back of their textbooks. Mason just so happens to express this collective emotion immensely well. That’s why this album merits itself in its brilliance: The decline of western civilization isn’t a societal one. It is the personal death of one’s desires starting from the libido and culminating with the necessity to be numbed by drugs, alcohol, sex, Facebook, parents, cigarettes, Twitter, memes, basement shows, and everything around us. Jordaan Mason’s personal civilization – whatever they thought they wanted, needed or feared and the things around them – is already fucking gone.
You Should Probably Listen To: Every song.
Rating: 9/10
R.G Magellan
Who It Is: Jordaan Mason – The Decline of Stupid Fucking Western Civilization; Self-Released (2015)
Review:
Jordaan Mason copes with anything life throws at them with a sense of non-descriptive irony and a bit of pragmatism. And it’s more than expected. The Toronto troubadour reached the depths of music forums and pompous Neutral Milk Hotel comparisons with the excellence behind Divorce Lawyers I Shaved My Head. Mason’s odd lyrical content – a close derivative of the “Communist Daughter”/”Tambourine-N-Thyme” hybrid – deals with everything and nothing at all: sexual frustration, bad relationships, mental illness, divorces, staying, swimming pools, animals, drugs, and unrequited love are among Mason’s favorite subjects. But whether we can make sense out of the word salad that bridges between Divorce Lawyers and The Decline of Stupid Fucking Western Civilization, one thing is absolute: Jordaan Mason is an incredibly talented songwriter who cleverly utilizes the simplicity of a cheap microphone to create a poignant, desperate atmosphere clouded by immortalized fear and a haunting vocal delivery.
Jordaan Mason copes with anything life throws at them with a sense of non-descriptive irony and a bit of pragmatism. And it’s more than expected. The Toronto troubadour reached the depths of music forums and pompous Neutral Milk Hotel comparisons with the excellence behind Divorce Lawyers I Shaved My Head. Mason’s odd lyrical content – a close derivative of the “Communist Daughter”/”Tambourine-N-Thyme” hybrid – deals with everything and nothing at all: sexual frustration, bad relationships, mental illness, divorces, staying, swimming pools, animals, drugs, and unrequited love are among Mason’s favorite subjects. But whether we can make sense out of the word salad that bridges between Divorce Lawyers and The Decline of Stupid Fucking Western Civilization, one thing is absolute: Jordaan Mason is an incredibly talented songwriter who cleverly utilizes the simplicity of a cheap microphone to create a poignant, desperate atmosphere clouded by immortalized fear and a haunting vocal delivery.
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What It Sounds Like: Neutral Milk Hotel, Andrew Jackson Jihad, These Trails, Sun Kil Moon, Red House Painters, Valium Aggelein
And it should be noted that this record’s purpose, if any, is pretty similar to whatever Divorce Lawyers manifested; Mason likes to test your patience; the opener, optically named after the title of the record, boasts 12 minutes of isolated vocals before drums set in halfway through the song. There’s little to understand here other than Mason setting the same tone of self-analytical despair present in Divorce Lawyers, but to an end that extends to raw review of one’s sexuality; Mason rarely speaks explicitly about sex, but their lyrics are filled with metaphorical representations of sexual organs and, occasionally, desires.
The amount of crudity and build-ups are enough to make it seem over-the-top within the context of mental illness. Mason doesn’t want to have every song escalate into cacophony before anything starts to makes sense. Mason needs to find a comfort zone before spouting whatever reaction to melancholia is running through their head. With this in mind, tracks such as“Euology” and “Liturgy Part II” become even more honest; Mason sees their depression and gender identity in a poignantly unique way and, after comprehending the kind of places Mason has been dragged to, it becomes a little easier to get past the metaphors and into what Mason is trying to convey: the woes and everyday struggles of a young, confused, gay Canadian 20-something coping with a plethora of issues and trying to make ends meet by selling their music on the internet.
And that’s the loveliest element of The Decline of Stupid Fucking Western Civilization. It has the ability to consolidate a generation of emotionally alienated young people who identify with the abrasive mood of this record. Whether they are past the coming of age threshold or not doesn’t really matter. Songs like “Pharmacy” make it essential for anyone who has been through the emotional hassle of SSRI’s and Benzodiazepines to communicate with on a very concrete level. Mason strives on the pleasure of continuous instrumentation albeit being as honest as possible. The record offers an everlasting level of physical and psychological strangulation that just adds to its ingenuity. It’s the feeling you get from being uncomfortably inebriated on a hot day. You want to get out, but if you can’t, might as well do something about it.
You came out as a transgirl not long ago. Do you think the public perception of your persona has changed? Have you had trouble being taken seriously as a transgender business owner ever since your broke the news to the public?
Not really, everyone’s been very accepting and positive. I personally have not, but that’s mostly because Funeral Sounds is concerned with a very niche group that aligns very much with our moral code, so I didn’t foresee any sort of backlash from the public, because the public, the only people that would care enough, were people I knew would support me anyway. That’s why I came out. I wouldn’t have if I thought a lot of my friends would not have been supportive.
Not really, everyone’s been very accepting and positive. I personally have not, but that’s mostly because Funeral Sounds is concerned with a very niche group that aligns very much with our moral code, so I didn’t foresee any sort of backlash from the public, because the public, the only people that would care enough, were people I knew would support me anyway. That’s why I came out. I wouldn’t have if I thought a lot of my friends would not have been supportive.
What are some other small labels out there you love?
Too Far Gone, Hollow Records, Skeletal Lightning, Ozona Records, Already Dead Tapes and Records, Broken World Media, Known Pleasure Records, Community Records, Out of Breath Records, lots of others.
Too Far Gone, Hollow Records, Skeletal Lightning, Ozona Records, Already Dead Tapes and Records, Broken World Media, Known Pleasure Records, Community Records, Out of Breath Records, lots of others.
What's the most popular release you've done so far?
Either Nouns' Still or Flatsound’s I clung to you hoping we’d both drown. Both are selling really well right now and are warranting additional pressings.
Either Nouns' Still or Flatsound’s I clung to you hoping we’d both drown. Both are selling really well right now and are warranting additional pressings.
What are your feelings regarding the DIY scene right now, specifically the emo and post-hardcore subcultures? Why do you think slur culture is so ingrained within the scene right now? Do you think bands and labels are doing a better job at calling out homophobic, sexist, racist, and transphobic behavior?
I think it’s moving forward. Important not to lose hope in it even if there are a lot of people in the scene that I, uh, would prefer not be. I don’t think slurs are really ingrained into the scene, most people are quick to call out at least the use of slurs, but that’s where a lot of it stops. I think, generally, the people are doing better at calling out negative behavior, but there’s still some resistance from those claiming that others are being “too PC” or “easily offended.”
I think it’s moving forward. Important not to lose hope in it even if there are a lot of people in the scene that I, uh, would prefer not be. I don’t think slurs are really ingrained into the scene, most people are quick to call out at least the use of slurs, but that’s where a lot of it stops. I think, generally, the people are doing better at calling out negative behavior, but there’s still some resistance from those claiming that others are being “too PC” or “easily offended.”
What's the future of Funeral Sounds looking like?
More vinyl and more tapes and probably CDs and maybe even a credit card which would lead to even more crippling debt.
More vinyl and more tapes and probably CDs and maybe even a credit card which would lead to even more crippling debt.
Nouns' Hunter Clifton Mann and Mark Garza. Photo by R.G Magellan