Audrey

So let's imagine for arguments sake I'm a girl. Let's say I'm not a stunning girl, I'm not a girl people would whisper about, stare at, be spitefully jealous of. Not that I'm ugly, either, not that I'm pitied, I just am and I'm normal. For all sakes of the word. Sure, I have quirks, but I have normal quirks, nothing truly special like telekenesis or bipolar disorder or a drug addiction. Nothing that makes a good Lifetime movie or teen television drama. For the purpose of the scenario I go to school. I see a boy, I meet the boy, I talk to the boy. I laugh with him, I smile, I ask him about his life, he lets me sit in his car. Imagine I begin to get feelings for such a boy. Imagine these feelings bubble up like so much oil and water and no matter how hard I try to ignore them they pour and seep and ooze out. Let's pretend the boy doesn't notice. On second look, let's pretend he does notice, but ignores them. Now imagine me, the normal girl in the normal girl's predicament. The constant state of my life, the unrequited longing. Now imagine that I am convinced that he really does, secretly, under layers upon layers, have some fanciful notions about me. Imagine that I wait every day for the revelation to dawn upon him or for the phone to ring and his voice to explode with confessions. Imagine I wait on my bed, looking out he window, looking at my shoes, looking at my face, scratching my legs, waiting, waiting, waiting. And imgaine nothing happens. Imagine suns set and stars fade and hair falls out and meals are eaten and I continue to see him and wait for him and laugh with him and all the while I can feel him slipping. Imagine I could feel the physical sensation of time flowing torrentially away, the current too strong, my fear too great. The great clouds of rejection loom heavy over my head and yet I continue to pray for sun. Imagine all the clouds. Imagine the doubts and uncertainty. Can you imgaine it? Are you living it?